Hope?

Why is hope such a difficult thing to hold onto? Why does it feel so much more likely that nothing will turn out like you want it to, that ultimately you'll end up disappointed, wounded, and broken-hearted? Why does it feel like some of us keep living the same bad scripts over and over again, no matter how many times we try to break away from them? Why does it seem that even when things start well and there's every reason to believe they'll succeed, that instead, they always find a way to go wrong, to fail, like it was some unbreakable law of physics? How do you stay hopeful when you've been wounded so deeply that it feels like your pain can consume the universe, when you feel like your heart is so damaged that it's beyond repair, when you feel like, despite your deepest desires, best efforts, and desperate prayers you cannot change any of these feelings or overcome or escape them?  I don't know.